Two 2-Minute or Less Stories

1. For my cat, a call to action: the opening of the fridge door.

2. Today at lunch for a treat, I decided to purchase a tea at a local Tim Hortons. Typically, I would make my own cup of tea at work if I wanted some, but I had forgotten to bring a small amount of cream from home. I ordered a medium-sized tea with bag in and with cream. I got: a white creamy liquid with no evidence of tea colour whatsoever--even after it steeped for 30 minutes! Is there such a thing as a faulty tea bag? As I sat at my desk thinking to myself, what a waste, the idea occurred to me: I made my own cup of tea in-house, then, when ready, poured some of the cream-saturated cup of faulty tea from Tims' into my new cup. The result was for me a "just right" cup of tea, a rather expensive creamer, and a creative solution.

Best wishes to you.

The Inner Life of the Cell

Here is a wonderful and inspiring 3 minute trailer to an 8 minute film that was made by XVIVO, a scientific animation company located near Harford, CT. I first read about the video at studio daily's website.

Jane Siberry's City

I pulled Jane Sibirrey's cd, City, off the shelf today for a listen. Perusing through the cd booklet, I came across text that touched me. I'll share a few excerpts:

"For to do something with care

Is the closest thing to the feeling of love that can be found

It is all I know

This is protection

This is the narrow bridge

And the hand that reaches out for the drink, the drug

And it grabs a cloth instead

And you protest

And you start to clean

And you clean the corners like they've never been cleaned before

And you weep as you clean, but you keep on going

And in this tiny gesture of respect

The protection is found

And the cape of grace

Moves softly down the shoulders

Throwing a safety line out to love"

--

"...and to remember to apply all that we have learned to the tiniest details of our lives -- to do the smallest things with great care -- sending a message out to the universe of our desire to find a better way."

--

the cape of grace

our desire to find a better way

this tiny gesture of respect

this tiny gesture of respect

this tiny gesture of respect

this

tiny

gesture

of

respect

Quotable friends

"There will always be tea," as said today by M.

The documentary: Blue Gold

Also available at the Kingston Public Library is the documentary, Blue Gold: World Water Wars. This is a film by Sam Bozzo that also looks at issues of water--the necessity of water for life, and serious problems of freshwater depletion, pollution, corporate and corrupt government actions where profit and greed rules above people and planet. Like Flow, it is disturbing, frustrating, alarming, and also provides examples of positive actions and solutions people are working and fighting for.

Although I haven't (yet) read them, a few books on this topic that one may also find of interest include:

• Blue Gold: The Battle Against Corporate Theft of the World's Water (2002) by Maude Barlow and Tony Clarke [available at KFPL]
• Blue Covenant: The Global Water Crisis and the Coming Battle for the Right to Water (2007) by Maude Barlow [available at KFPL]

Apparently, the City of Kingston, Ontario in which I live has set a goal of becoming Canada's Most Sustainable City. If Kingston -- and the people involved in planning and steering decisions -- are truly going to achieve this goal (and I hope they do), it will require vision, creativity, and courage (backbone, guts, a powerful humanitarian and earth-itarian vision coupled with much action). Looking at water usage and conversation issues must be one important aspect of this -- and an aspect that finds solutions and relationships across many sectors. Some examples off the top of my head include:

• Building codes. Solutions include: substantial rainwater collection systems should be mandatory in all new developments, the use of graywater wherever appropriate and as much as possible.
• Decisions about expansion and housing developments. Solutions include: seriously looking at what population and water usage can the watershed truly support to not be depleted and then to keep housing within that limit. If you want more people, then you MUST find innovative ways to reduce water usage and the impact on the watershed.
• Food sources. Solutions include the dominant use of local food systems as a must and where within local food systems, sustainable practices are mandatory including rainwater collection systems as the key source of irrigation rather than groundwater/rivers/lakes, as well as looking at methods of growing foods that are also water-savvy (e.g., hyrdroponics).
• Surface treatment and the issue of paving. Solutions include: having more non-paved surfaces and when a surface is paved, use only permeable paving materials so that rainwater goes into the ground and the groundwater table instead of running-off into the lakes
• Pollution issues in all forms--and the prevention of further polluting and damaging water sources. This is a huge issue to look at as pollution comes from so many sources.
• Trees. Plant trees. All streets and parks etc should be tree-lined (and how about with trees that produce food for people???). Tree roots and other plantings hold water in the watershed and help prevent run-off (as well as providing shade, homes to birds and creatures, oxygen, and other positive things). There are also ways of planting other plants and shrubs so as to catch water and slow/prevent run-off. This is also very helpful and important--not to mention aesthetically pleasing and adding plant diversity.
• Other water conservation methods: low flow toilets, shower-heads etc. Why are new residences not being built with these things? This is unacceptable.
• Say NO to bottled-water and the irresponsible mining of water by corporations for profit (and with no concerns for planet or people) and the privatization of water. Please watch the documentaries and read more to learn about these issues.

The list could go on as there as many innovative things that can and should be done. Many of these ideas are touched on in the documentaries, as well as more pertaining to the issue of serious issue of major multinational corporation's attempts to privatize and own water.

The documentary: Flow

I watched this documentary recently --with thanks to the Kingston Public Library for having it in their collections. For a description, visit the film's website: www.flowthefilm.com. The film raises much that is unsettling, deeply troubling, as well as things that are hopeful. I recommend it.

For those of you who visit the blog regularly, you might have noticed I've added a link in the sidebar to charity:water, an organization founded by Scott Harrison. I feel moved by Scott's description of how he came to this project, and of his description of charity:

"Charity.

For me, charity is practical. It's sometimes easy, more often inconvenient, but always necessary. It's the ability to use one's position of influence, relative wealth and power to affect lives for the better. charity is singular and achievable.

There's a biblical parable about a man beaten near death by robbers. He's stripped naked and lying roadside. Most people pass him by, but one man stops. He picks him up and bandages his wounds. He puts him on his horse and walks alongside until they reach an inn. He checks him in and throws down his Amex. "Whatever he needs until he gets better."

Because he could.

The dictionary defines charity as simply the act of giving voluntarily to those in need. It's taken from the word "caritas," or simply, love. In Colossians 3, the Bible instructs readers to "put on charity, which is the bond of perfectness."

Although I'm still not sure what that means, I love the idea. To wear charity." (2006)

Thank you Scott for your work, vision, heart, and ability to inspire.

There were many inspiring words and scenes in the film Flow. Near the end, there is a scene of a "Play Pump". Essentially, it is the children's play on a merry-go-round like device (akin to a piece of playground equipment) that pumps water from a well. The photo below is from PlayPumps' website:

(One qualm I have about the Play Pump system--based on my initial reactions--it is the design feature for "advertising" on two sides of the storage tank and "educational" messages on the other two sides. I don't buy into either of these as a positive.)

* * *

There is so much that is troubling in the world, and so much that is beautiful and good. Let's persist in standing up for the good.

Feeling and not feeling...

Near the end of one of the chapters in Kay Redfield Jamison's book, An Unquiet Mind, and about three-quarters of the way through, she refers to a piece of music I wanted to follow-up on:

"That night, waiting for my moody, intense Englishman to appear--needlepointing, watching the snow fall, listening to Chopin and Elgar--I suddenly was aware of how clear and poignant the music seemed, how intensely, beautifully melancholic it was to watch the snow and wait for him. I was feeling more beauty, but more real sadness as well. When he arrived...I put on Schubert's posthumous Piano Sonata in B-flat, D. 960. Its haunting, beautiful eroticism absolutely filled me with emotion and made me weep. I wept for the poignancy of all the intensity I had lost without knowing it, and I wept for the pleasure of experiencing it again. To this day, I cannot hear that piece of music without feeling surrounded by the beautiful sadness of that evening, the love I was privileged to know, and the recollection of the precarious balance that exists between sanity and subtle, dreadful muffling of the senses." (p. 163)

Here is the piece I think she was referring to (although if I have it wrong, please let me know). Perhaps you might like to stop all other doings, turn up the volume, and listen with full attention?

If you feel sad while listening or full or or thankful or joyful or you feel longing, keep breathing. Breathe fully with the feelings. Remember to breathe.

Venn diagrams and a wonderful book

This morning, I awoke early. Shortly after 4 a.m., I absorbed the quiet of the early morning accompanied by the beautiful song of birds, and the beauty of a crescent moon shining brilliantly in a clear sky. How wonderful.

I did, also, go back to sleep. How glad I am, however, for that early morning awakening and time.

Yesterday, I finished reading An Unquiet Mind by Kay Redfield Jamison, subtitled A Memoir of Moods and Madness. (For people in the Kingston area, it is available at the local library, KFPL). This is a book I highly recommend. She wrote this book so truly well. It was an absolute delight to read. I offer her my deep respect for her courage, genuineness, and tenacity. This book is at least partially about manic-depressive illness, her life and experiences of it, as well as her work as a clinician and researcher and her journey of reconciling and navigating both. I have in mind here a picture of a venn diagram where there are two circles and they partially overlap in the center. Do you remember those? Perhaps because of my own work as a therapist and my status as firmly also a human being subject to all that that may entail, I reflect on the overlapping part often enough--the place where we are (and hold) our whole self, all of us, with all of our different identities, experiences, roles and parts.

Kay has considered at length the question of whether she should work as a clinician given she has a mental illness. She puts forth the firm tenet that work as a clinician must be for and about assisting clients and patients: "Doctors, as my chairman is fond of pointing out, are there to treat patients: patients should never have to pay--either literally or medically--for the problems and sufferings of their doctors" (p. 209-210). I also agree. Kay has worked very hard to make sure she succeeds in this. As she writes she has been careful and been fortunate. She has sought out much support and put many safeguards in place. She is also now a world expert in her field and someone who has contributed enormously to assisting people with mood disorders and especially manic-depression. Additionally, she is an advocate of psychotherapy including clinicians participating in this. I say, kudos to her. She was refreshingly real, and her book, reflections, and disclosures intelligent, thoughtful, moving, funny, poignant, and, once again, courageous.

***

A quick glance at some of the comments people have made on amazon.ca leads me to add one caveat. I also agree that Kay has been fortunate in the support she has had around her (family, colleagues etc), the professional support she has been able to access, the sabbaticals she was able to take, as well as the financial security and stability her particular jobs offered her. This occurred to me also while reading. I do not begrudge her or think her less courageous but I do wish to acknowledge how isolated many people can be, including people with this illness, and how difficult it can be for them to access resources, assistance, and support. If you are one of those people, I wish to say, I am truly sorry it is so terribly hard. I offer you my encouragement and my deep hope that you will find a way to persevere in life one small step at a time, and that grace will enter in all the ways it can--whether from a sunrise that is glorious and pulls one into life, or a meal (or meals) provided by another, or a helpful helping professional that you meet, a job that you like and can manage, the balm of friendship, or from all other manner of helpful things. I am thinking of you.

the popularity of fresh flowers

Yesterday, two black birds wandered through the yard pecking for food. One flew away. The other, before departing, picked a sprig of forget-me-knots from the garden, like a small bouquet, then took to flight transporting it by beak. 

Begin

To write a blog post, or write, or gain increased flexibility, or start a relationship, or learn more about something, you have to begin. So I will do that here--begin--after another month away from posting, and offer you three possibly disparate things. Although, likely they also share threads of connection. If you see one, consider posting what you find. I'm interested to hear your ideas.

Here we go:

1. In March perhaps, I watched an engaging, courageous, creative documentary on copyright and remix culture. It is called, RiP: A Remix Manifesto, written and directed by Canadian, Brett Gaylor. You can watch for free on the web--just follow this link.

2. Tweenbots. I discovered this via someone posting it on a list-serve I am on. Curious? Click here.

3. A quote of words that a friend sent me in a little note today. I had heard it before, perhaps several years ago, and it was excellent to receive it again. (I offer my thanks.) These are words one might benefit from reading each day upon waking and each evening, or when self-doubt or sadness stops by, swimming or storming in.

There is a vitality, a life force, an energy, a quickening that is translated through you into action, and because there is only one of you in all of time, this expression is unique. And if you block it, it will never exist through any other medium and it will be lost. The world will not have it. It is not your business to determine how good it is nor how valuable nor how it compares with other expressions. It is your business to keep it yours clearly and directly, to keep the channel open. --Martha Graham.

Yesterday, I pondered the question:

What is the best that could happen?

how many fingers?

Yesterday, I went for a long walk in the amazing spring weather Kingston was enjoying. It was not a fancy walk to an exotic location. Rather a simple walk a number of times around a dirt track near where I live. That was just fine: to walk along at a leisurely pace and reflect and enjoy the sun and take in the scenes around me. These were scenes that included many people out walking their dogs--or visiting with each other while their dogs played and tumbled about. A young girl, age four fingers and two thumbs, slowly approached walking with her beautiful, tan-coloured dog. Unfortunately, I forget the dog's name although I was introduced. (I'll use a substitute name here.) I smiled in her direction. She asked, "Would you like to pet my dog, Natasha?". I was honoured of course. The dog, as it turned out, was eight fingers, two thumbs, and two more fingers old--and appeared very gentle, wise, and serene.

On my second attempt...

This is the second whole chicken I have cooked in my life. The first, I cooked about a year ago. It turned out in such a way that it left lots of room for improvement. Today's, however, turned out great. I suspect I would have made my great-grandmother proud--although she might have wondered what took me so long.

Roasting this bird brought me a lot of satisfaction and I wondered why. I enjoy cooking, so that may be what it was about. But I suspect there are at least two other factors: one, I got to experience the thrill of doing something new(er) and the satisfaction that comes from accomplishment and having moved significantly along a learning curve; and two, it was an accomplishment or "contribution" that was concrete, unlike a significant percentage of the work I do as a psychotherpaist working with others: this is work that is satisfying and wonderful for me but it can also seem somewhat elusive or intangible at times, difficult to "see" (or show) the work I have done. I do see it but it's not the kind of work where I can say, "see that gorgeous painting or that product or that sidewalk? I did that." And, by the way, that's okay, and I also have many lovely stories, concrete in their own right. At the end of the day, it's nice for me to be able to experience both: to operate in the realms of the tangibles, like the roast chicken, the workshops I develop (then teach), the garden and in the realm of the intangibles, the things you cannot pick up with your hands but you can know just the same in your heart.

Coming back to the bird, with thanks to people who provided resources on the internet for others to benefit from:

• the recipe I used for roasting the chicken can be found by clicking here for "Bacon Roasted Chicken" at allrecipes.com (I read some others' comments on the site and modified the recipe a little bit)
  
• a brief lesson in carving a chicken--something I was also needing--can be found in this video, the first one I came across, which made it look easy enough (and it was).
  

And also with thanks to my mom--who gave me the bird to roast--picking it up on a buy one, get one free special. She was a guest for the meal of my first bird--the one that didn't turn out so well, and she and those present ate it graciously and helped supportively. I suppose, giving me another bird to try could be a way of saying "you need more practice" but really, I think it was more a way of saying, "here is some food as a gift," "I got a great deal," and also "I believe in you."

Inspired? Try roasting your own chicken--or, if you are a pro at chickens (or have no desire to cook or eat such a thing), try out something you haven't done before--just for the thrill of it... I'll invite you to consider also how you might in the coming week offer to someone else a gift of nourishment, kindness, or the gift of conveying, "I believe in you". Then, to do this in some concrete way, however large or small.

I am celebrating much today, including the sun that is shining gloriously and unexpected, the spring bulbs that are bursting green sprouts through the soil, friends, kindness, baby steps, and growth...

Best wishes to you.

Tracy

last day of winter

I heard on the radio this morning that today is the last day of winter. What will you do today to celebrate (or to mark the occasion)? 

Tree Canada

Today, I have savoured what could be described by all accounts as a very relaxed, lazy sort of day. It has included in part reading gardening magazines with legs outstretched and tea nearby, thinking about what I might plant this year to continue developing a welcoming outdoor space for birds, insects, butterflies, and people alike. Percolating in the background were issues related to work, thankfully about nothing out-and-out negative--but rather with thoughts about the "what's coming nexts" and challenges to find solutions for. While reading an issue of Canadian Gardening magazine, I came across reference to an organization called Tree Canada. From their website: 

"Tree Canada is a not-for-profit, charitable organization established in 1992. Under the direction of a 13-member volunteer Board of Directors, Tree Canada provides education, technical assistance, resources and financial support through working partnerships to encourage Canadians to plant and care for trees in an effort to help reduce the harmful effects of carbon dioxide emissions. Tree Canada is a leader in promoting the value of urban forests in Canada."

The logo above is also from their site. Anyone interested in greening rural or urban spaces through tree planting might enjoy checking out the site. It has resources for children and teachers on it, and I noticed there is an option to make a donation on the site with 85% of the amount going directly to the planting of trees in Canada. 

I also learned that apparently Kingston, Ontario won a Green Streets Canada award from the organization last year for "creating an urban forest". I couldn't find details of the Kingston project on the website but I am very curious. Any Kingston and area readers know details of the project that won the award?

Many Paths

While an undergraduate student, I attended a presentation by a visual artist who was speaking about some of his work. A member of the audience commented to him that he noticed there were a lot of star images in his paintings and he wondered if there was any significance to them. The artist commented that he liked stars including how all the points lead to the same centre when drawn figuratively the way we often do. I have never forgotten that line. Further, it became a metaphor for me of a philosophy I hold about wellness and about people's life journeys (for example, of growth, healing, transformation): there are many paths.

I believe there are  many paths that can support the same centre or movement toward it. Sometimes we alight along one that is just the right one for a particular thing. Often in the bigger sense of our journeys and life, many elements and angles support our growing, rather than one, and these can include seeming contradictions: movement and stillness, opening to and closing from. 

Finding Your Own Rhythm

This morning, I went lane swimming alongside a feisty aqua-fit class. Really, the class was inspiring. There was potentially a wide range of ages in attendance although my quick scan indicated seniors heavily dominated the class and rocked, I might add, with their earnest and energetic participation. Of course, mostly I observed the class from underwater out of the corner of my eyes. I saw a multitude of legs running on the spot, legs jumping forward and back, arms pushing "weights" into the water, building endurance and strength. I was impressed. I was also distracted. 

It was not the jumping legs that had me distracted. It was the music the legs and arms were pumping to. If I were to be exact, the music itself was not really the problem either. The music was lively, fun, and fine. It was that the music's pace and rhythm was not my own (at least not for swimming) and for a while, it was so loud that I couldn't hear myself breathing or my body moving through the water: I couldn't connect to those indicators of my own rhythm and pace. This jarring or "rhythm interference" did not prevent me from swimming but it did make it harder to feel like I was settling into some pace or to even decipher what my pace and rhythm was, to hear it and find it. 

And so the expression, finding your own rhythm, visited me while swimming, turning over in my thoughts as my arms turned over, one following the next in repetitive fashion. I find I encounter the same type of challenge while running: mostly that for me running and music don't really mix. I like to be able to hear the sound of footsteps predictably tapping, the sound of my quiet breath. It is almost as if I need to hear these. Being able to tune in has an orienting function.

The first song this morning was the most exuberant, and then the sounds softened down so that I was able to tune in and relax into the rhythm--my own--that I found there with the interference substantially diminished or gone.

I have written and talked about this sort of thing with people many times before--about learning about your own rhythm, your own pace, your own needs and proclivities and (for the most part) honouring these. Yet I find I might wish to write about this topic in different and similar ways a hundred hundred plus times. That, and questions of what pulls us away from our most authentic selves and rhythms and dreams, and what helps to bring us back. 

Are you experiencing "rhythm interference" these days or are you nicely in step with your own?

Idea-byte No. 4

There is a book I read half of a while ago, likely within the past year or so: The Mindful Way through Depression
by Williams and others (2007). For those who live in Kingston, it is in the public library's collection so you may explore it free of charge. It comes with a cd with short guided mindfulness-type practices, which is another good reason to know about it. On another 5 x 7 cue card from my desk, I found some jots I had made while reading the book including text from page 29:

"If we're convinced we're 'no good' or unworthy, how likely are we to pursue the things that we value in life?".

The invitation (and challenge for some, if not all) is to offer to one's own self compassion, kindness, gentleness, caring--to offer warmth to one's self, the way we offer warmth to another. You matter and so do your dreams.

Idea-byte No. 3

I'll stick to the same cue card as from the last post, which features jots taken from What Is Your Life's Work? by Bill Jensen. Today's idea-byte (in this instance a question to ponder):

"What is the legacy of your choices?"

Building on this, I might add:

"What do you want the legacy of your choices to be?"

Consider your vision for that and do something today that supports that vision--something that makes it lived and real.

Idea-byte No. 2

Today's idea-byte is taken from a white cue card, 5" x 7" in size, with text written on the lined side:

"What deserves your precious 1440 minutes every day?"
"What doesn't?"

from What Is Your Life's Work? by Bill Jensen.

Sticky-notes and cue cards: Introducing Idea-Bytes...

I've been spring cleaning this January. One of my goals--an on-going one--was to make headway with the papers that have been collecting on my desk. As I was saying to a friend this evening, I really enjoy having a clear desk yet in my home office of sorts I find this difficult to accomplish, and even more difficult to maintain.

I did make progress today on the organization front, which is great, although my desk does not fully reflect the accomplishment. While tackling one section of desktop about 6 square inches in size, I began looking through a collection of cue cards that have gathered: cards on which I have jotted little notes, questions, bits of information to remember or ponder. Over the next while, I might use them as inspiration for the blog, providing samples from this well-established habit of mine of jotting little bits of ideas I think of or encounter onto little bits of papers when they come. Cue cards, sticky notes, little notepad papers, and those letter-sized yellow note pad pages are common receptacles for my latest jot.

(As a sidebar, I might mention that I really don't enjoy writing on those yellow notepads but they are a staple in my workplace where some of my jotting down inevitably happens.)

Selected from no particular order, here is today's sample, which I will call Idea-byte One:

Forget about perfection. The object is to set in motion a higher order for your life. --Cheryl Richardson, best-selling author of the useful book, Take Time for Your Life.

My cat circles the coffee table counter-clockwise...

For at least a few months now, my beautiful, loving, aging white cat has developed a new peculiarity. In my home, the main daytime living area aside from my workspace is a medium to large sized rectangular room divided into two by function. Approximately one half of the room (the south) is dedicated to the kitchen and the other half of the room (the north) is dedicated to the living room. It is in the north half of that room where you will find in my home a blue loveseat that was passed on to me from family who no longer needed it, and a few feet in front of that, a solid wood coffee table (I think it is oak) that was also passed along.

Sadie, my cat, has had many favourite lounging places over the months and years. These seem to change like seasons with old ones fading and new ones coming into view. (This, to me, is similar to some of my own preferences and habits that stay for a while, then fade, with new ones inevitably emerging.) Lying on a cushion on the loveseat or on the back of it, on either the north or south side, has been among those favoured places in Sadie's repertoire over time. Currently, it is the back of the loveseat that draws her interest more than the seat. Why she prefers this, I do not fully understand, since it is cooler up top, being right beside the west facing window against which the winter winds routinely blow. (In contrast, my own preference is to largely avoid sitting on the loveseat for leisure during winter as I find I often feel chilled while sitting there.)

Sadie's current preference for the back of the couch, however, is not the peculiarity. It is the method that has evolved for her getting there. Before making an ascent from the hardwood floor, she circles the coffee table counter-clockwise...several times. She saunters around the table's perimeter and when she arrives at the south side of the loveseat she pauses and looks up toward the seat or the back. I am not sure what happens internally at that point but most often she continues on her walking way, circling the coffee table's perimeter again, then pauses and looks up, then circles again. My observations have not been astute enough to determine if she circles the table the same number of times each time before jumping onto the loveseat or if the number varies.

What this routine is about, I have no idea, though I am intensely curious. Is she assessing when it is the right time to jump? Has she set a goal to get more exercise and these are some of her strategies to do so, something like baby steps in the implementation of the total goal? Is it a feline method of paying homage to... to what?

What are your thoughts? I invite you to share your own hypothesis or explanation for this. All creative, funny, moving, and scientific ideas are welcome.

January greetings!